Are the do’s and don’ts enough for a proper mentorship?

The short answer is, No. There are various reasons behind that answer.

If it was that simple then we wouldn’t be seeing the issues that we are witnessing today. I guess the do’s and don’ts are taken care of by most and yet very few #achieve the #desired results. More often than not our #kids will do what they see you doing and not what you tell them to do. Remember the old #saying “Seeing is believing”.If you ask them to do something and are not #following it yourself, then you’re not setting the right #standards to begin with.

The #effort and #hardwork you as a parent put in will be reflected tomorrow in your child. That does mean going that extra yard and changing a lot of ourselves. There is absolutely nothing wrong in doing that. The very first thing is to come out of our own resistance to change and admit that there is a need to learn, even for us. We all have areas of improvement and we just need to make that intent that we are doing it for the sake of Allah (SWT) and it naturally will be for the betterment of our kids. #positivechange is a continuous #journey.

Let’s go over a few  #examples with a possible #solution (not the solution) where the kids are told to do something and they rarely do it.

Example 1- Telling a kid to go offer your #prayer (#salah ).

If you don’t regularly offer your #prayers then chances for the child doing it is quite rare. No matter how hard you tell them, the importance is only shown by your #actions. If it’s really that important then you might as well be on top of it yourself.

Possible solution: Next time, tell them to let’s pray together or come on kid lets thank Allah (SWT) and #ask for something (the only one who should be asked for help). Soon after following this #approach chances are if they see you praying, they will join you automatically. A suggestion for the #fathers would be to offer their sunnah prayers according to the #sunnah ( which is doing it at home). 

Example 2-Telling your child not to lie.

Another thing that is taken very lightly by most parents is telling #lies in front of the child or not discouraging it the way it should be. It is definitely not a small thing. Now take a moment to think on how truthful you are to your children in all your dealings with them. Did I promise something that I haven’t fulfilled yet? Do I give them reasons which are not true?

Possible solution: Don’t even lie to them while joking. Be patient with this approach as it will take time. Reward them for being truthful. This is one of the attributes that builds your character and strong emphasis needs to be given to this.